Never Let Go
by RasberryGirl
Summary: When Cassie is presumed dead, can Jake handle it?


**Prologue**

Crayak was furious. 

He had tried for months to destroy the Animorphs, and failed each time. Because of their foolish will to survive and that damn Ellimist, they were all still alive, fighting in a stupid, one-sided war. 

How he hated them. 

Rachel, the stupidly brave warrior who loved to fight. Always so cool and confident. Fool. 

Then came Tobias the nothlit, stuck in the body of a red-tail hawk. Son of Elfangor, Aximili's nephew. Crayak could already smell the odor of burnt, blackened feathers. 

It pleased him. 

He then saw Marco. Who could forget that cunning, deceitful little nothing who's own mother was Visser One? He imagined Visser One shoving a Yeerk into Marco's pitiful body and his silenced howls of fury. The thought gave him a grim satisfaction. 

And Cassie. The killer with a conscience, as his Drode once put it. That disgusting, moralizing, caring, two-faced little monster. He saw her with a knife in her chest in a crumpled pile on the ground, blood flowing from her wound. He was getting excited now. 

And last, but not least, Jake. The fearless leader of the Animorphs. The last thing between the enslavement of Earth and freedom. Crayak hated him the most. Just thinking about him made his blood run colder than it already was. He was confused to why Jake had survived so long. Jake didn't deserve to live. The only thing he deserved was death, or at least a life filled with pain and misery for destroying his Howlers. 

Crayak wanted to kill him, but there was no way he could without breaking the "rules". Rather pointless, in his opinion. Crayak vowed to find another way to destroy Jake. He decided to open the window between his world and Earth. It was night there, so it was dark outside. 

First he saw Tobias, perched on the branch of the tree, most likely asleep. He didn't interest Crayak, so he moved on to the next Animorph. He then saw Rachel, lying on her bed with a blanket loosely covering her sleeping form. She was Jake's cousin, but not exactly what Crayak was looking for. 

Next he saw Marco, his arms draped over the side of his bed with the blanket carelessly strewn around him. Crayak knew that he was Jake's best friend, but again, he was looking for the person who would serve his purpose the best.

Finally, he saw Cassie, sitting up on her bed, looking out of her window at the night sky. There was an unreadable expression in her large dark eyes. Crayak was pleased when he realized they were sadness. Before he knew it, Crayak's mind flooded with strange memories. 

Crayak saw Jake and Cassie gazing at each other, with a foolish human expression on their faces that he could not understand. Next he saw Jake grabbing Cassie's hand in the pouring rain, stroking her fingers softly. 

Feeling nauseated, Crayak saw one final image. He remembered this one in particular because it was the reason why his Howler's were ruined. It was the image of Cassie running into Jake's arms and Jake kissing her, long and passionately. 

After shuddering from the memory, Crayak's body trembled with excitement. He knew exactly how he could destroy Jake. Crayak's ugly lips curled into a smile. 

He would use Cassie. 

**Chapter One**  
_(Cassie)_

I was sitting in my bed, looking out the window at the stars. The sun was just starting to come up over the horizon. I couldn't sleep; all the memories of killing and dying inside kept me awake almost every night. I was also thinking about Jake. How he always pretended to be unaffected by the war for our sake. He knew he couldn't show his weakness; it could possibly mean Earth's downfall. 

We tried to ease each other's pain, and it helped us both to know that the other was there. It made me feel a little better just thinking about him. I laughed a little to myself. Even though I was no normal teenager, I still thought about Jake a lot. 

I sighed and glanced at the clock on my desk. The red numbers stood out against the darkness of my room. They said it was 5:43 am. Great. It was almost time for me to get ready for school. I yawned and my eyes closed a little. I was starting to feel sleepy, and I knew that I needed to sleep. My parents were starting to get worried that I wasn't getting enough rest because my grades were dropping. They were right, but not for the reasons they thought they were. 

As I was about to lay down, I felt a small breeze in the air. I shivered and got up to close the window when I saw that it wasn't open. I shrugged it off as nothing and turned around to go back to bed. On my bed was the Drode, Crayak's evil little messenger. 

"What do you want?" I asked, trying not to show my fear. I was scared, but I tried not to show it. There was a reason why Drode was there, and I wanted to know. It stood up and laughed while shaking its disgusting looking head. 

"Why Cassie, you're becoming more like Marco everyday. Would you believe me if I said I just wanted to drop by for a visit?" he said, mocking me and making me feel stupid. I glared at him. 

"No." 

"Well, you're right. Crayak wants to see you immediately," he said. I looked at him incredulously. 

"Why? Why doesn't he just say what he has to say? And why aren't the others here too?" I asked, not letting my fear expose itself. I didn't want the Drode to get any satisfaction from knowing that I was afraid. 

"One question at a time, dear Cassie. Crayak wishes to speak with you face to face. Secondly, this issue does not concern the others, only you," he replied. The Drode must have seen the look on my face, because he started to smile that ugly smile. 

"Oh, I almost forgot. If you don't go, Jake will go instead," he said evilly. He was using Jake to get me to do what Crayak wanted. Unfortunately, it worked. I didn't want anyone to get hurt because I was scared, especially not Jake. 

"Okay, I'll go, just let me write a note to my parents saying I went to school early. I don't want them to worry," I said, talking more to myself than the Drode. Before I could make a move, a piece of paper appeared on my desk under the lamp. 

"It's taken care of," said the Drode. I turned to get a better look at the note when the Drode stepped closer to me. 

"Crayak wants to see you now. We must leave," he said hastily. Before I could reply, we were transported to the Crayak's realm. 

The pungent odor of death hung over me like a thick blanket. My head was spinning, and I felt a little sick. I felt a cold, grimy hand brush the back of my neck for one instant. It jerked back as soon as it made contact with my necklace, almost as if it had been repelled. 

LEAVE IT. 

I turned around quickly but saw nothing but the Drode walk away towards the Crayak. 

I blinked my eyes and saw the Crayak, high on his pedestal in the grayish green sky. The Drode bowed before him.

GOOD WORK.

The Drode bowed his head. "Yes, Crayak." 

He quickly scampered away. I turned my head skyward. "What do you want from me?" I asked, shaking a little. I knew that whatever it was, it couldn't be good. I remembered Crayak offering to let Rachel have freedom from the war if she killed Jake. Of course she refused. 

Crayak turned his humongous eye down to rest his gaze on me. The feeling of it made me sick to my stomach. I tried to stop shaking, but was unsuccessful.

YOU ARE HERE TO HELP DESTROY MY ENEMY.

Right away I knew he was talking about Jake. Crayak hated Jake, even before he ruined the Howlers' collective memory. I anticipated the Crayak's statement, so I wasn't surprised. I shook my head profusely.

"No, I don't care what you offer me, I won't ever do anything to hurt Jake, or hurt anyone else for that matter," I said, putting every ounce of strength I had into those words. Crayak's formed appeared in front of me. He looked amused.

"Do you think that is why you're here? You are very wrong, Cassie," he said. 

"The hard work is done. Everything is in its place, including you," he said, contempt in his voice. 

I was confused. What was Crayak talking about? What did he mean, "everything was in its place?" Before I got the chance to ask, Crayak spoke.

"You should've taken a better look at the note my Drode left for your family" he said dryly. I remembered a note appearing on my desk, but all it said was that I was going to school early. 

"So what about the note? All it said was-"

"See for yourself, human."

All of a sudden I saw the image of the piece of paper lying on my desk, except the words were clearer. My eyes widened with terrifying realization. The note read:

Dear Mom and Dad,  
I'm sorry I have to end it like this. I guess life   
caught up to me and I just couldn't deal with it  
anymore. There was just too much pressure, and I guess  
I'm too weak to handle it any longer. I never knew I  
would have to do this, but somehow I think I'll  
finally find peace. Don't look for my body; the  
current will have carried it away long ago. Just  
remember that I'll always love you.  
Your Daughter,  
Cassandra ___________  
P.S. Let Rachel know that she'll always be my best  
friend and never to give up like me. And tell Jake  
that I'm so sorry, it wasn't his fault, he couldn't  
have known. And that I cared about him with all my  
heart, and always will.

As I finished reading the note, I noticed that the Drode had even added a few small tear stains blurring the last few sentences. It was as if I had actually written the note myself. It hurt me inside to know that in a little while my parents would discover a suicide letter I hadn't even written and their only daughter gone. I tried to think of a way to let them know I was till alive, but my thoughts were interrupted.

"You cannot leave. I can hold you here as long as I don't kill you. Seeing you suffer will be much more pleasurable anyway," said Crayak with a twisted smile.

"Why are you doing this? What purpose will it serve?" I yelled at him. Crayak disgusting face was filled with grim pleasure.

"Not only is Jake going to die," said the Crayak,"but I am not breaking the rules. His own guilt is what will ultimately destroy him, driving him to the same "fate" as you." Crayak's horrible smile widened. 

"Once Jake is too guilt and grief stricken to fight, the others will come easily after their leader is no more," he finished. I felt my chest tighten.

Crayak was twisted.

Before I could open my mouth again to reply, I was quickly placed in a small holding cell. I saw a small refridgerator and a door which I hoped led to a bathroom. There was a bed in one corner, and a chair sitting directly in front of a wide, blank screen. I figured it was the way Crayak would make me witness everything that was going on.

AND YOU GET TO WATCH.

My eyes misted up. I knew that Crayak was doing this to torture me. On impulse I felt around my neck for the necklace that Jake had given me on my birthday. It was a small golden cross on a thin, delicate gold chain. On the back of the cross there was an inscription.

_ My love for you will last for all of eternity and beyond the stars-Jake_

No one knew about the inscription but me and Jake. We wanted to keep it between just the two of us. I don't really like wearing jewelry, but I almost never took of that necklace. It was one of my most treasured possessions. 

I took in a shaky breath. 

"Jake won't lose hope. I know he won't, he would never abandon the group," I said fiercely, also trying to convince myself. 

"He's too strong for your tricks."

WE SHALL SEE, CASSIE. WE SHALL SEE.

**Chapter 2**  
_(Jake)_

"Okay, see ya later man," I said to Marco on the way out of the school building. 

I quickly made my way through the large mass of people on the school steps. We were meeting at Cassie's barn later, but Marco had to stay after for detention, so I started walking to Cassie's house alone. 

I was actually kind of glad Marco wasn't there; I was anxious to talk to Cassie. She hadn't been in school that day and I was a little worried about her. 

Okay, I was a lot worried. Cassie doesn't get sick very often, and when she does you can usually tell before. I had tried calling her house during school, but no one had answered. I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach but I quickly shook it off as the result of eating the cafeteria food. 

As I approached Cassie's house, I first saw a couple of police cars in the drive way, and one ambulance. The feeling returned and I walked faster. Then I saw Rachel's bike carelessly thrown on the front lawn. I was practically running when I finally reached Cassie's house. Not caring that I was being rude, I let myself in the house. 

"Cassie?" I called, looking around. I saw a tall police officer turn around from Cassie's mother and start walking towards me. Before he could get there, Alisha grabbed his arm. I noticed that Alisha's usually nice, kind face looked red and puffy, as if she had been crying. 

"It's okay, he was a good friend of hers," she said quietly.

"What's wrong? What happened? Why did you say "was"" I asked, my heart beating fast. 

"Jake, I-" 

"I should tell him."

Before Alisha could say anything, Rachel appeared from a room down the hall, joined by another police officer. Her face looked just like Alisha's, except now she looked even worse now that she saw me. Now I was nearly hysterical. 

I'd never known Rachel to look so solemn and sad, not even after a battle. 

Rachel gave Alisha a weak smile and a small hug. Alisha looked at me once more, then walked away towards the living room with the officer. Rachel turned to me. 

"What's wrong with Cassie?" I asked, hoping that what I was thinking was wrong. Rachel took in a deep breath. 

"Jake, they think Cassie's dead," she said simply, looking right at my face. 

It felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. Cassie couldn't be dead, not my Cassie. I felt like I was dying myself. I couldn't breathe, so I sat down on the couch. My lungs felt as if a ton of bricks were smothering them. For a few moments I had to concentrate on just breathing in and out. Rachel sat down beside me and drew in another long breath. 

"They think she committed suicide." 

My head snapped up and my heart stopped beating all together at that statement. I couldn't believe that the girl who I cared about more than myself could be dead, much less committed suicide. What Rachel was telling me was impossible. 

"No. Dear God, you're lying to me. Cassie wouldn't, I mean, she would never, no, she didn't," I said, not even able to speak in complete thoughts. Rachel shook her head. 

"Do you think I want to believe it? Do you think I want to believe that my best friend in the whole world would kill herself?" she yelled. Seeing the look on my face, her hard expression softened. 

"I'm so sorry," she said softly. I went on. 

"How did she, um, did they find, is she-" "They think she may have drowned herself. They haven't found a body yet though," Rachel said, cutting me off. 

"How do they know? I mean, she could still be alive, right?" I asked, with a small glimmer of hope. 

"Cassie's mom found a suicide note on Cassie's desk, Jake. And she's been missing since this morning. Her dad is still out there looking for her. The police aren't even sure they'll be able to find a body," she replied. 

The way she said it was like it was final; like she wanted Cassie to be dead. I was about to tell her this when Alisha walked back in without the officers.

"You poor things," she said softly. She came over to where me and Rachel were sitting and gave us both a hug. 

It didn't really make me feel any better, but I didn't stop her. She held me at arms length. She looked a lot like Cassie, except her hair was longer and her skin was just a little lighter. I felt another pain in my chest just thinking about her. 

"Are you going to be okay, Jake? I know you and Cassie were very close," she said. 

Suddenly I felt bad; I mean, Alisha's only child had probably committed suicide and she was asking me if I was alright. I quickly straightened up. 

"I'll be okay. May I see the note?" I asked her. Alisha's face went dark. I was about to tell her to forget it, but she spoke up. 

"John already took it down to the station to have the handwriting and prints analyzed, but he brought it back," she said, walking over to the dining room table and picking up a sheet of notebook paper filled with Cassie's neat cursive writing. 

My eyes started to water, and I could see tears running down Rachel's face. I blinked them back and took the letter from Alisha's hand. Rachel peered over my shoulder. I read it three times before I I couldn't stand any more. The awful realization hit me. 

It was my fault. 

It was my fault that Cassie hadn't had anyone to talk to about her fears and problems. I was supposed to love her, and yet I hadn't even seen it coming. I sat the letter down and put my head in my hands.

Rachel took the letter to read it again. I heard the front door open and footsteps. 

Marco walked into the dining room. He looked at our solemn faces. 

"What's going on?" he asked curiously. 

"I should've seen it," I said, talking mostly to myself. Marco glanced at me. 

"Seen what? Hey, what's with the ambulance out there. Did somebody get hurt?" he asked, oblivious to the whole situation. 

"She's dead, Marco. Cassie's dead," I repeated. Marco's face lost its color. 

"Are you serious? But how? She was fine yesterday," he sputtered. 

"Yesterday she didn't suicide," said Rachel, tears still running down her face. Marco nearly collapsed. He quickly sat down in the chair next to mine. 

"Oh my God. How?" he said. 

"They think she drowned herself," said Rachel, setting down the note. I was staring straight ahead, in a state of shock. Rachel's head snapped up.

"Tobias. He doesn't even know. I'll go tell him," she said, almost inaudibly. She left the room. I heard her say something to Alisha, then the door close. Marco looked at me. 

"Is there,uh, something I can do?" he asked, trying to sound sincere. Marco's not very good with emotions, but I knew he was trying to help. Cassie and him hadn't been very close, but he knew that Cassie and I were. 

"No, there's nothing you can do. It was my fault," I repeated. Marco shook his head. 

"No it wasn't. None of us saw it coming. Rachel's her best friend, and she didn't see it either, Jake," he said reassuringly. I wasn't convinced. Alisha walked back in the room. 

"I called your mother, Jake. She should be here in a little while," she said. Mine and Cassie's mom were friends. I nodded numbly. Marco turned to her. 

"I'm sorry about Cassie. I'll have my dad give you a call," said Marco, standing up from his chair. Alisha gave him a small hug. 

"Thank you Marco." He glanced at me one more time, then left. A few minutes later, I heard Alisha let my mother into the house. My mom looked pale and very shaken. She gave Alisha a hug and they talked quietly for a couple of minutes. 

I was still sitting down on the chair and had no desire to get up. Cassie's dad came back and him and Alisha went off to another room with the other officers. Mom turned to look at me. 

"Jake, I'm so sorry," she said, trying unsuccessfully not to cry. I looked at her with blood shot eyes. 

"It's my fault," I told her. She shook her head just as Marco and Rachel had. 

"Don't say that. None of this is your fault," she said rationally. 

Mom just didn't get it, neither did anyone else. When I didn't reply, she sighed and continued. 

"Cassie was such a sweet, pretty girl. I know she was a good friend," she said, sadness in her face. She was more than that, I wanted to say. Mom sat down beside me. 

She gathered me in her arms, even though I was bigger than her. I didn't pull away, but didn't hug her back either. 

After a while she stood up. 

"We better get going. Your father is still at the hospital, and he doesn't know. And I'm sure Alisha and John want some time alone," she added. I nodded. She sighed again and led me out to the car. 

I took one last look at Cassie's house before my mother pulled out of the driveway and headed home, my heart and soul left behind.

**Chapter 3**  
_(Cassie)_

I saw my parents, both crying, trying to console each other. I'd never seen either of them so upset. 

Or Rachel, for that matter. Her eyes were puffy and her face was streaked with tears as she told Tobias that I had killed myself. Tobias appeared unaffected as he told Ax, but I knew that inside he was very upset. 

What scared me was that Rachel had always been so strong, but now I saw her at her house, crying her eyes out. 

Even Marco, who found humor in the worst situations, was quiet and sad looking while listlessly walking around his apartment. 

But the worst was Jake. While the others were grieving openly, Jake was sitting in his room, silent tears slipping out every now and then. Mostly he just sat there, a look of immeasurable pain in his eyes. I felt tears running down my own face as I saw this. 

"Why are you doing this?" I asked Crayak.

BECAUSE I CAN.

"You're sick," I said.

I BEG TO DIFFER. SHALL WE CONTINUE?

"No."

WATCH.

I was forced to turn my head back to the screen.

**Chapter Four**  
_(Jake)_

The next couple of days was a blur. I didn't go to school the next day after the news of Cassie came out. My parents didn't even try to make me, either. 

They tried their best to comfort me, and I tried to look normal, even though I didn't feel normal. Tom pretended to be sympathetic, but I knew that the Yeerk inside his head couldn't care less. 

Rachel didn't go to school either, and she came over once to talk. Marco stopped by a couple of times, but he really didn't know what to say and I didn't have anything to say to anyone. Even Tobias came by once, but I still wasn't very warm. 

Cassie's parents were distraught. Some of Cassie's family from out of town came down to be with them.

Meanwhile, the police were still searching up and down the beach, and even in the surrounding towns that had a beach. But they had made it clear that it mostly a body recovery mission now. 

On the third day, the police did find something. The only people they told at first was Cassie's family, and they said they wanted to tell me privately, and in person. A male officer approached the front door. I swung it open before he had the chance to knock. 

"What did you find?" I asked hurriedly. The officer remained calm. He held out his hand. 

"I'm officer Smith, but you can call me Sam," he said. I shook his hand. 

"My name's Jake. Sorry. You can come in," I said, still anxious to find out what he had to talk to me about. Sam stepped in and sat down on the couch in the family room. Tom glanced up from the other seat and tactfully left the room. I took the seat he had just left. Sam cleared his throat.

"As you already know, we've found something that we believe may be vital to knowing what happened to your friend," he said. I nodded, my head still throbbing getting no sleep the night before. 

"Yes. What is it?" I asked impatiently. Sam looked at me with pity in his eyes. He slowly reached into his pocket and brought his hand out, his fist balled. 

"My partner found this on the shoreline," he said. He slowly opened his fist and my heart leaped in my throat. 

Inside his hand was a gold necklace, the same necklace I had given Cassie for her birthday. I knew that Cassie almost never took it off; every time I saw her she was wearing it. I also knew that since he had found it on the beach, Cassie was dead. It tore me up inside to see it then. 

I turned away, fearing the officer might see the tears running down my face. 

"You recognize it?" he asked. I nodded slightly. 

"It's Cassie's. I gave it to her a few month's ago," I said numbly. I think that Sam could tell just how upsetting seeing that necklace was, because he touched my shoulder. His cold fingers sent chills up my spine.

"Kid, I'm real sorry about your girlfriend. It's always a shame to see people so young die so early," he said. I acknowledged him with a nod. 

"Thanks." 

Sam looked at Cassie's necklace, and his mouth twitched slightly. 

"Her parents already know about this. They wanted you to have it," he told me. I didn't want it, but I couldn't refuse. Sam set the gold necklace on the kitchen table. 

"It was nice meeting you. I'll be in contact," he said, standing up. I mumbled a goodbye. He let himself out. 

I sat there and thought about Cassie. I wondered if she was happy, wherever she was. I wondered if she had found peace. I wondered if she had found the answer to her problems. I also wondered if that was the answer for me, too. 

**Chapter Five**  
_(Cassie)_

Finally Crayak allowed me to turn away. I couldn't bear to watch anymore. I was officially dead now, at least back on Earth I was. Jake was losing hope, and I wondered if he was considering... no, he would never do that. 

But I had a weird feeling that something wasn't right about the officer named Sam that I just couldn't place. Then it came to me. I saw Sam placing the necklace on the table, and the look on Jake's face when he recognized it. But that necklace wasn't mine. I was wearing it. Suddenly Crayak's voice filled the room.

I SEE YOU'VE FIGURED IT OUT.

"How did you do it? I'm wearing the cross right now," I said. Crayak's menacing laughter filled my head.

YOU CANNOT BEGIN TO COMPREHEND HOW MUCH POWER I HAVE. YOU'RE EVEN MORE NAIVE THAN I THOUGHT. ONE LITTLE PIECE OF NOTHING CANNOT STOP ME FROM ACHIEVING MY GOAL.

Just then, a spot to the right side of me glittered, and there appeared Drode, but in the body of the police officer Sam.

"Why, hello again Cassie. How are you?" he asked, changing back to his own disgusting form.

"Why do you care?" I replied. My fist was gripping the chair so hard my knuckles hurt and my fingers were shaking. The Drode pretended to be shocked.

"Of course I do." Drode's face darkened. 

"Well, acually, no, I don't." 

"Why do you hate him so much? Please, just let me go," I said, my voice wavering.

I SEE YOU'RE ALREADY HAVING DOUBTS ABOUT YOUR PRECIOUS JAKE. AND NO, YOU WILL NOT BE GOING ANYWHERE.

The Drode perked up. "But Master, I-"

SILENCE! 

The Drode said no more.

LET'S CONTINUE.

**Chapter Six**  
_(Jake)_

The next day was Cassie's funeral. Actually, it was more of a memorial service, since there was no body to bury. Aside from Marco, Rachel, Tobias, Ax and me, about 25 other kids from school came. Needless to say, they all looked kind of shocked. I was past the point of shock. 

I was sitting with the othes, plus my family. Tobias' face was expressionless, but then again, it always is. Rachel had on a long black dress, and she wore no makeup to cover the dark circles under her eyes. Marco was quiet, too quiet. 

He couldn't make any jokes out of a situation like this.

Even Ax was there, a genuine look of sorrow on his face. He didn't play with his words, either. 

I'm sure my face was unreadable. I struggled to make it seem that way, even though my insides felt like they were being torn apart. I had to be the leader, and that meant being strong, like I should've been for Cassie. 

I felt tears threaten to escape when the minister signaled the beginning of the service. He went on and on about how sad this occasion was, and how we should try to help each other out during this time. I don't really remember much of it. 

I was concentrating on the large photo of Cassie sitting in the front of the church. She was actually in a dress, the one she wore to the dance we had all gone to. Cassie was beautiful. She had a wide smile on her face, her large dark eyes glittering, but she wasn't looking at the camera. I suddenly remembered Rachel taking the picture while Marco had been telling another one of his lame jokes about how I couldn't dance. We were laughing, and Cassie had been looking at me.

Cassie, I thought. My chest started to hurt so I looked away. I realized the service had gone much faster than I thought it had. Rachel had just finished the eulogy. I noticed that there were tears in her eyes, and most everyone else's after she was done. 

Cassie's mom and dad said a few things, then the minister closed with more comforting words that didn't make me feel any better. People slowly sat up from their seats and gave their regrets to Cassie's family, and Marco, Rachel, Tobias, Ax and I stayed together. 

"I do not understand," said Ax. He looked very troubled about something. Rachel turned to him.

"What don't you understand?" she asked. Ax regarded her with sadness in his voice. 

"Cassie is-was a fairly smart, compassionate human. She did not like to kill. Why would she wish to end her own life?" he asked. Rachel bit her lip, Marco stared at the ground. I felt sick. Tobias touched his Ax's arm.

"Sometimes, I guess people feel like their problems are making life a living hell, and death looks a lot better than living a life that's no longer worthwhile," he said. 

Ax nodded his head but still looked disturbed. No one really had anything else to say. Tobias' explanation made sense, but it was hard trying to apply it to the girl you loved.

After a while it was time for Tobias and Ax to go back to the woods, and Rachel and Marco to go home. Marco hung back. I guess he could tell I was upset. "You know you can talk to me, man. This is a big blow to all of us, and I know you and Cassie were tight," he said. I nodded. 

"Thanks, Marco. I'll remember that," I replied. He left with his dad. Soon after, I headed home with my family. There was almost no conversation in the car. I think we all just wanted to get home and try to forget about that day, even though we all knew that was impossible.

Before I made it to my room, my mom gave me another one of her hugs, and both Tom and dad patted me on the shoulder. I threw off my tie and suit jacket and draped it on my desk chair. Thinking of Cassie was so painful, yet I couldn't stop. My head hurt, and soon my temples were throbbing. 

I went to the bathroom and grabbed a bottle of Tylenol out of the medicine cabinet. I swallowed a couple and drank some water from the sink. 

I looked at myself in the mirror. I hardly recognized the face staring back at me. 

My face was pale and my eyes were empty, exactly how I felt inside. I glanced at the bottle, and figured that I might need them at the school the next day. I threw it in my backpack. 

I fell down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling, physically and emotionally drained. 

I glanced at the photo of Cassie in her barn on my desk near the computer, in the overalls I had grown to love. My heart leaped in my throat. 

I'm sorry I failed you, I thought. 

**Chapter 7**  
_(Cassie) _

"Damn you, Crayak," I said, watching the people I cared about suffer. I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Damn you."

Before Crayak could say anything, my body seemed to separate into a million pieces, then gather back together. The whole process only took less than a second, but I was still pretty shaken up. I was in a different place. It wasn't dark and cold like Crayak's dimension, but it wasn't Earth, either. Soon I heard a familiar voice.

I'M SORRY TO DISTURB YOU. 

It wasn't the Crayak. There was a big difference, even though they both really didn't have voices.

"Ellimist," I said, awed.

YES.

I knew that the Ellimist was a meddler, and sometimes could be very tricky. But I also knew he was a good guy. The Ellimist had helped us many times by finding loopholes around the "rules" for him and Crayak. I didn't even have to ask; the Ellimist knew exactly what I was thinking.

CRAYAK HAS NOT BEEN FAIR, SO I CAN HELP YOU. 

"Thank you, Ellimist," I said, relieved. I was curious to what he had in mind. 

YOU WILL SOON SEE, CASSIE.

"What about Crayak?" I asked.

YOU WILL REMAIN HERE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, HUMAN FRIEND.

Another window to Earth opened around us, and I could see what was happening again.

"Hold on, Jake," I said, reaching out to him with my heart. 

"Please hold on."

**Chapter 8**  
_(Jake)_

BBRRIIINNNGGG! 

"Jake, wake up!"

Ugh. I rolled over on my side and climbed out of bed. I banged my alarm clock. I briefly glanced at Cassie's necklace sitting on my desk, then turned away, my stomach in knots. The funeral had been bad, but I couldn't even imagine how I was going to get through school. "I'm up, mom!" I shouted downstairs. I took a shower and got dressed, brushed my teeth, and went downstairs to face my family. 

Tom was sitting at the table, eating cereal. My dad was rooting through the couch, most likely looking for his keys. My mom was frying eggs at the stove. The scene was perfectly normal, except for the fact that my brother was no longer my brother and Cassie was dead. 

Everyone looked up from what he or she was doing and smiled at me.

"Good morning!" they all said as one. I mumbled a less enthusiastic good morning. They appeared to be undaunted. I sat down at the table across from Tom. He looked up from his cereal. 

"Hey midget," he said casually. I looked at him.

"Hey," I replied. 

"Hungry?" he asked, gesturing to the cereal. I grabbed the box, and in afterthought set it back down.

"I'm not hungry," I said. My mom looked at me from across the kitchen with a worried expression. 

"You have to eat, Jake," she told me. Even my dad looked up from his key hunting.

"She's right," he added. Finally, I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"I SAID I'm NOT HUNGRY, OKAY?!" I yelled. 

My parents looked stunned.

Before anyone could say anything else, I quickly grabbed my backpack and walked out the door. Before I could get far, Tom jogged up to me. 

"Hey, listen. What you just did wasn't very smart. They were talking about making you see a psychiatrist," he said. I looked at him warily.

A stupid psychiatrist couldn't help me with my problems, and he couldn't bring back Cassie either.

"They can't make me go."

"Yes, they can. But I know of a better way," he said. I looked at him incredulously, not really paying attention. 

"What's that?"

"The Sharing," he said seriously. How dare he use Cassie's death as an excuse to shove a Yeerk in my head! My fists balled up, and I swear to you that I would've killed him if Marco hadn't showed up at that moment.

"Hey Jake, Tom," he said, not knowing about what Tom had just said. 

"Hey Marco," I said, unclenching my fists, but still glaring at Tom.

Tom glanced at Marco. 

"Hi," he said shortly, and gave me a look that said I'll talk to you later. He turned around and walked away. Marco gave me a confused look. 

"What was that about?" he asked. We started walking towards school. I shook my head. 

"Nothing," I replied. Marco shrugged his shoulders.

"Whatever you say. So how are you holding up?" he asked tentatively. I'm not, I thought to myself.

"I'm okay," I lied. Marco gave me a sideways glance. I think he knew I was lying, but he didn't say anything. We turned the corner and Rachel was waiting. She looked a lot better than she did at the funeral, but she still appeared to be shaken up. 

"Hi Jake, hi Marco," she said.

"Hi Rachel."

"Hi Rach."

We continued walking in silence for a few minutes, then Rachel cleared her throat.

"Um, I don't think Ca-, I mean, John and Alisha are going to want us in their barn when there daughter's not, um, gone," she said, pain in her voice. 

Another wave of guilt and grief washed over me, but I tried not to show it. 

"You're right. I guess from now on we can meet up in the woods, or at each other's houses sometimes," I said. Both of them nodded in agreement. No one said anything else.

Finally we made it to the school building, with one less person than before. 

"Well, I guess I'll see you guys later," said Marco. Rachel smiled a little and I nodded. We looked at each other. You could tell that we were both dreading this.

"I'll see you at lunch," she said. I shook my head yes. 

"See you." Rachel walked away. I entered the school and barely got inside the building before people started giving me sympathetic looks. I guess people knew Cassie and I were close, even though we tried not to make it too obvious to everyone. You know, with Chapman around and everything. A guy named Matt walked up to me. 

"Sorry about Cass, Jake," he said sincerely. 

"Thanks man," I managed to reply. He gave me a pat on the shoulder and walked away. A few other people said around the same thing, but I can't remember all of them. I passed by the science classroom and saw Cassie's detailed diagram of the human heart. Mine started beating faster, and I forced myself to keep walking. 

I finally made it to my locker when I saw Cassie's. It was covered in We'll Miss You notes and flowers. I didn't know who did it. Everyone liked Cassie, I even recognized a few of the people who were at Cassie's memorial service. 

But somehow seeing that reminded me all over again that she'd still be alive if I had been there for her.

My head started throbbing again. Everywhere I turned I saw something that reminded me of Cassie. I couldn't look at it anymore, so I turned around and grabbed the bottle of Tylenol and went to the bathroom. Nearly everyone was in class already, so it was empty. 

I unscrewed the bottle and swallowed a couple, drinking some water from the sink. I held the bottle in my hand. Was this how Cassie felt as she looked out at the vast ocean, seeing her own death? Just then a small, pale girl with blond hair walked in. I had never seen her before. I looked at her strangely.

"What are you doing in here? This is the boys' bathroom," I told her. I noticed she had black eyes, as in her irises had no color. She just smiled smugly at me. 

"Well, you're not supposed to have medication out of the clinic. What are you doing with that entire bottle of aspirin?" she asked coyly. I quickly put the top back on it.

"Nothing," I replied. She waved her hand. 

"Nonsense. I heard all about. I know everything," she said, walking in circles around me. My palms began to sweat. Who was this girl, and what did she know about me? Before I could ask, she continued talking.

"I heard about your girlfriend Cassie. And no, I'm not sorry she's dead," she said plainly. I looked at her incredulously. 

"What is your problem?" I practically yelled at her. She held her finger to her lips. 

"I'm not sorry because she's not dead. Cassie's very much alive," she said knowingly. My heart lurched to a stop. Cassie wasn't dead? 

"How do you know? Where is she?" I asked her with a spark of hope. She just smiled at me coyly. 

"Think about it. Look past the obvious. They found a necklace, didn't they? Look past the obvious, and you will find her," she repeated, looking straight into my eyes. I noticed that her eyes weren't just black, but they seemed to have small white flecks in them. She started to walk away. 

"What's your name?" I asked, already knowing the answer. She turned to me once more. 

"I'm sure you already know, but you can call me Ellie," she said, and walked away. 

**Chapter Ten**  
_(Cassie)_

I'VE TOLD JAKE ALL I CAN. THE REST IS UP TO HIM.

I nodded, hoping against hope that the Crayak, wouldn't do something else. I was quickly disappointed when Crayak showed up. His disgusting body quivered with anger. 

"How dare you interfere! This is not your battle!?" he shrieked. The Ellimist appeared again in his blue form. 

"You're wrong. You can't try to change destiny," he replied. I had no clue what 'destiny' they were talking about. Crayak focused his huge eye on me. 

"Jake is weak, and stupid. He was ready to give up," he said evilly. I shook my head.

"If he's so weak, why haven't you destroyed him yet?" I asked, trying to sound brave like Rachel. Crayak didn't answer, and the Ellimist smiled enigmatically. 

"How will Jake know how to find me?" I asked. Crayak looked pleased. 

"He won't. Ellimist can't tell him either," he said. The Ellimist smiled at me sadly. 

"I'm afraid he's right, Cassie. Jake can't find you," he said. You'll have to find each other." 

**Chapter Eleven**  
_(Jake)_

I skipped the rest of school and went home as fast as I could. I bursted through the front door and threw down my backpack. I slowed down a little and went up the stair, gasping for air. I walked across my room and picked up Cassie's necklace. It looked the same as always. But the Ellimist had told me to look beyond the obvious. 

I suddenly remembered the tiny inscription on the back of the cross. I flipped it over and looked at it. There was nothing there. 

"What?" I said to myself. I remembered when I first went to the jewelers' with Rachel and Marco to get it inscribed. But there was no writing, nothing. I suddenly realized that Sam was the one who had given me the necklace. He must think it really is hers, everyone does, I thought to myself. I had to talk to him. I dialed the number for the station. A lady with a high-pitched voice picked up.

"Can I help you?" she asked, sounding bored. "Yes. Can you put officer Sam Smith on the phone?" I asked anxiously. 

"Hold on." I waited for a few seconds before I heard someone pick up the phone. It was still her. 

"Kid, is this a prank call?" she asked angrily. 

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"There's no Sam Smith here. Never was, never has been," she said, and hung up. 

I was too shocked to even put down the phone. If Sam Smith never existed, then...

Suddenly, I realized what had been done. "Sam Smith" had given me a fake necklace to make me think Cassie was dead, while everyone else had accepted it. 

I remembered the strangeness of his presence, and the flicker of a smile when he talked about how sorry he was for me. Then I remembered the "Ellie" paying me a visit. 

If the Ellimist had been involved, there was no one else but the Crayak to blame for Cassie's disappearance. 

"Crayak, I'm tired of your stupid games. You won't get away with hurting her, or anyone else. You can't keep me away from her," I said forcefully. I felt Crayak's presence in the room, and he appeared.

WHY IS THAT?

I smiled at him. He cringed. 

"Because I love her, and I'll never let go of that," I said. Crayak let out a bellow of rage, and disappeared. 

Suddenly the air inside my room opened up, and Cassie fell on the floor. She was breathing heavily. Cassie looked up at me. 

"Jake?" she cried. I fell on my knees and just stared at her; I could hardly believe I was looking at someone who I had thought to be dead. I touched her soft cheek just too make sure she wasn't an angel yet, to make sure that she was real. 

"Oh, dear God, Cassie, I love you so much. Don't ever leave me again," I said, the pain from the past few days surfacing. 

"I love you too, Jake, with all my heart and soul," Cassie threw her arms around me, and I kissed her, remembering the sleepless nights without a thought of anyone else but her. She kissed me right back, and this time it was french style.

We parted after a few minutes, but I still held her in my arms. 

"It was hell, Cassie. I was going crazy without you," I said, tears running silently down my face. She wiped away my tears with one hand and ran her fingers through my hair with the other. 

"Me too. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Jake," she said, sobbing softly. I looked into her soft brown eyes. 

"Crayak couldn't keep me away from you, Cassie, and nothing ever will," I told her. Cassie smiled at me, and my shattered soul was whole again. She held her necklace in one hand. 

"I won't ever leave you again, Jake, never," she said. I held her hand in mine.

"Never."

**Epilogue**

_2 years later..._

"I wish it could stay like this forever," said Cassie. I nodded, and held her closer. Cassie and I were at the beach, we were in love, and I couldn't be happier. 

It had been 2 years since Cassie had "died", and things had been back to normal for a while. Everyone had been surprised but happy when they found out Cassie wasn't dead. But we couldn't tell anyone, not even Cassie's parents, why she had disappeared, so all of us decided to let the Ellimist erase everyone's memory of those three days, not including me, Cassie, Rachel, Marco, Tobias, or Ax. 

It took a while, but Rachel became her old brave self. She even managed to talk Cassie into letting her give her a makeover, which included a new wardrobe. To me it really didn't matter, I loved her for who she was, not only because of her looks.

I gathered up my courage, only for it to fall again. What would she think? I must've had a worried look on my face, because Cassie looked at me questioningly.

"What is it, Jake?" she asked, her beautiful face illuminated by the setting sun. Go ahead, I told myself. Crayak couldn't stop you, nothing can.

"Cassie, over the years we've grown close, really close. I love you, and you know I can't live without you," I began. I pulled out a small box from my pocket, and opened it in front of her. Cassie gasped, and I could see tears gather in her eyes. I took in another breath.

"I know we're young, barely out of high school. But we love each other and that's all that matters. I want you to marry me," I said to her. Cassie wiped away a tear and looked into my eyes.

"Yes."

_TO BE CONTINUED..._


End file.
